Companionship: It ain't all about the "Ill-nana"

As men we've all used this phrase following a breakup. " How can we remain friends when we've never ACTUALLY been friends". Looking back on it, I've used this saying numerous times without flinching.Without even thinking for one second that what I was saying was a complete bold faced lie. It wasn't until I got married that I acknowledged the truth. My wife is my friend. As a matter of fact my Best Friend (Sorry guys...you know who you are.). Most of our days are spent huddled in front of the Television Moose on one side, Zelda Perched on one of the stools. Boring yes, some would say so. But to us. It's nirvana. Conversation flows continuously. We spend our nights discussing current events, work, Gossip, and most of all our dreams, and hopes for the future. It will never be perfect. But it's right. There is nothing unique about our relationship, there are many just like it. The most important part is that you acknowledge it. As men "I" is apart of our vocabularies daily diet. A healthy dose of "I did", "I went", "I want", "I Saw's", and "I have" are our daily nutritional Pyramid. Hell there are even times when my wife has to remind me of this. She is completely right. The letter I should have vanished from my vocabulary years ago, but hey I'm a man...I can't help but to relapse every now and again. Men embrace the friendships that you have built, and are building at this very moment. Embrace the companionship. Embrace the emotion that a relationship brings out of you. Would we, Could we be willing to have sex every single night? Hell yeah. But it ain't always about the ill-nana.

Here are a few ways to help further the emotional connection you have with you partner.


1. Listen/Respond: Listen to what your partner is telling you. Let me repeat that. LISTEN To what your partner is telling you. Not only that,be able to formulate a response for it. There is nothing worse than expressing your feelings to someone only to be slapped in the face by a "huh" or "what". She's telling you these things for a reason. You're the only opinion she truly cares about.

2.Drop the "I's": Start Using words like "We", "Ours", and "us". Your relationship may not be very old or established, but once you've declared yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend you are a cohesive unit for the time being. Marriage may not be on the horizon, but thinking as a unit will help with alot of petty issues that arise in relationships.

3. "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you". Respect, and Honor are instrumental for all parties involved. Respect, Honor your partners wishes, and you will be fine. (Irrational requests need not apply)


4. Show your partner who you really are: Vulnerability is NOT weakness. Showing sensitivity is NOT weakness. Whether you believe it or not they are both showcases of strength. Hiding behind walls of pretentiousness is a sure fire way of creating unnecessary space between you and your partner. I'm not saying you have to go all-in on the first hand, but at least play with some vigor, and hunger for life and love.



Again, thank you for your time, and please leave a comment. I am here to learn as well. So if you have anything to add, or discuss feel free to do so.